In my last post, I mentioned that my incest may actually have begun at my birth. I’ll tell you why. When I was born and brought home from the hospital, my parents were living with my dad’s parents. My mom, especially, didn’t want to be there, but my parents hadn’t found a house yet. My dad’s parents were very controlling nd it was uncomfortable for my dad and mom. There are things that happened before this, as well, that were concerning and I will talk about those later.

Very soon after my parents and I arrived, my grandfather went to my grandmother and told her that he wanted to watch my mom breast feeding me. This occurred in the 1950’s and even all these years later, I believe this request would be considered disturbing. My grandmother then went to my dad and told him the same and my father capitulated and asked my mom to let my grandfather watch her feeding me. My mom is the one who told me about this. This put my mom in a terrible situation. The pressure to do this came from all three people she was living with and she knew his parents would make it very uncomfortable if she refused. She let him watch to avoid a lot of anquish. I can only imagine how my mom felt. Back in those days, beastfeeding was only done in private. Who would want their father-in-law watching.

upon hearing about this, I realized it may well have been the beginning of his desire for me.